I recently returned from a holiday in South Africa, 12 years since my last visit, the longest I have ever not been home for. Home, how funny that after 27 years living in the United Kingdom, I still call South Africa home. But it will always be home to me, but so is the UK now; confusing, right? Absolutely!
Read more: Returning Home from HomeI think most of us will never lose the feeling that SA is home, but I came back to the UK this time conflicted, a little more than I always do, with a full heart, nonetheless, but this time with a slightly changed perspective.
It was that feeling of being somewhere that made sense the minute you got there, like you had never left and never wanted to leave again. The sound of the crickets at night, the waves on the beach and the smell of salt in the air. I didn’t even realise how much I missed these. I was home, and my soul felt at peace.
And the people are friendly; everyone smiles back at you with a warm, welcoming smile. Random but wholesome conversations with strangers were so fulfilling. It’s just the good nature of South Africans that you don’t realise you miss.
And hearing the strong accent, which you settle back into in no time, the words and phrases that you’d forgotten so easily, which make you smile, “trues bob”, “I nearly died” and “ag shame man”!
It’s the small things you didn’t realise you missed, the small things that make it feel like home.
When eating out, the staff are so welcoming and friendly, and they genuinely want you to have an amazing meal and experience! The food takes longer for sure; they say there’s no rush in Africa, but it gives you the time to socialise and enjoy the atmosphere. And then the wait is so worth it because the food quality is next level and delicious. Makes a huge change from the UK, where you find your own table, order your own food on an app most of the time now, get your food, eat and leave. Nothing more, nothing extra, just a meal, just a business.
Talking about food, it’s that great feeling of being able to eat biltong whenever you want, for brekkie, lunch and dinner just because you can, and it doesn’t cost a month’s wage like it does in the UK. (not really, but it is expensive)
Spending invaluable time with family and seeing my kids surrounded by their cousins made me feel so blessed. My kids looked happier than I’ve seen them in ages, how the outdoor life suits them.
The weather was equally rewarding, even though we weren’t even in summer! And we were lucky to have some amazing SA thunderstorms, where you can smell the heat off the sand or pavement as it rains…you’ll know what I mean if you know THAT smell!
So while I enjoyed the sunshine, I took a trip down memory lane, visiting some areas where I grew up. So much has changed, yet so much remains unchanged from when I was a kid in the 80’s and 90’s. The houses, as seen from behind fences or hedges, are nicely painted, and the gardens are mowed. The sound of dogs barking and kids laughing rings through the neighbourhoods. The range of emotions was overwhelming, the memories overflowing – oh, how I long for those contented days, the good old days!
The nostalgia is strong; the area I lived and grew up in is so beautiful and peaceful, it does make me wonder why I ever left. It was such a wonderful trip for me to share all of this with my very English husband and kids. There has been development, as you would expect, but it’s still how I remember it.
On a superficial level, the life looks perfect. But the gap between the haves and have-nots is growing from a crack to a chasm. And there are definitely signs in other areas that things are getting tough.
The food prices are definitely higher than I remember, and it is not a cheap destination for a holiday, especially because of the airfare. Life is tough, but life is getting tougher everywhere, isn’t it?
A big part of my heart aches at the idea of returning somewhere I belong. But a realistic part of me always knows that it will only ever be a dream. And I find living between these two ideas a tough balancing act. I’m grieving those better days when life seemed simpler and happier, while finding gratitude for new opportunities in my current life. In the gap is growth. A tough concept to accept, maybe, as most of us only grow when we go through something uncomfortable or unwanted.
But as time goes on, I’ve realised that what I miss and crave the most is the feeling that I have associated with home – the sun, the relaxed lifestyle, genuine friends and the informal style of communication.
But then I also remember that SA is loud, busy and crazy. Roads are busier, and accidents are more frequent. The driving is next level – People hoot, change lanes without warning, and skip robots (traffic lights in case you’re wondering). I forgot that I needed to think ahead on the roads and always pre-empt the crazy driving and the poephols making those decisions. And don’t forget to lock your doors when driving, or don’t put your window down too far or choose air conditioning instead. The crime hasn’t improved in the years I’ve been gone.
And who could forget… the mozzies, I definitely don’t miss those little buggers, and being tempted to play join the dot on my legs daily!
So, I want to send a big hug to those who made the leap – whether you were pushed or jumped – and you have survived. It is EINA! Only people who have travelled the same road will understand the pain, the sense of isolation and the struggle of starting again.
South Africa will always be in my blood; I’m just not sure I could live there again.
I know not everyone feels this way, but let me live in my bubble a little and see what lessons the rest of this year reveals, and that time will hopefully heal my aching heart.
I’d love to hear your thoughts
Bye for now, Ange
Angela Harris 