Life in a small town

I grew up in a very small town called Howick (in South Africa); which I alluded to in my first blog, the great childhood I wish I had appreciated at the time, and how I look back on now and wish I could have for my children. I wanted to elaborate and give you a little insight in to what growing up in a small town was really like.

But remember this is through the eyes of the then teenager and the now adult so there are many years in between, many things I can’t remember clearly (thanks to all those many years) and many mixed emotions!

I hated it, or so I thought back then. I hated my parents for moving us to such a small town. I could not wait to leave and I did at the first opportunity, which ironically was not by choice but chance, but I left and never looked back. Other than going back on holiday to visit I have not lived in that small town since, never thought about living there and I’m still not sure I would ever live there again. But I often catch myself looking back fondly on my childhood now and my memories and I’ve come to realise… I had a fricking awesome childhood!

The first day we arrived at our house which circled a massive green in the middle of a roundabout I remember a whole bunch of kids came running over to my sister and I and introduced themselves. I was only six at the time but little did I know that some of those grubby faced bare foot kids would be friends all through my life. That green in the middle of all our houses was mainly the alien ship from the series “V” and I wish I did but I can’t remember what character we each played (I’m almost sure I was the evil alien lady who ate the bird) but those days were great; we were all young, care free and playing superhero’s or aliens, eating granadilla’s off the vines and running around bare foot with the sun on our faces.

Living somewhere I don’t think you appreciate the beauty and of course being young and growing up there I definitely didn’t. But Howick is a beautiful town, the houses and gardens are big, the school has lovely grounds and even has its own swimming pool (they don’t here in the UK), the town although not big has got everything you need and has that sense of belonging.  Funny enough though that sense of belonging and walking in somewhere and being recognised or recognising most of the people in there, that I hated growing up, is what I miss more than anything.

Junior School brings back all the fun memories, our circle of friends all thought we were so cool and we were always up to something, usually with me as the common denominator as I was reminded by the Head Master on the last day of school! I remember making up silly dances and songs with Lyndsey and Julie on a bench at lunch time, making a fort in the bushes, sneaking out of school at lunch breaks to use the trampoline across the road and pick mulberry’s off the bushes and make an absolute mess eating them. Having my first kiss in those bushes (not the mulberry ones thank goodness) at the trampoline with Brett while others watched and laughed! We definitely did not know what we were doing. I remember using the pay phone in the school office to make prank phone calls and while Lyndsey was making one of these calls I turned the fire hose on up her skirt causing her to scream like she had just been murdered, to which the Head Master came running up the stairs and of course saw me running away. When I slept over at Dee-Ann’s house (Head Masters daughter) and we snuck out to go to who knows where and we hid behind a golf ball post box to hide from a passing car so it didn’t see us!!  Really, like that would hide us. I’ve never laughed like I ever did with Dee-Ann, even to this day.  I remember taking Karen’s bike most mornings with Julie and riding it down the path, sometimes with Dee-Ann sitting on the handle bars. Yes there were three of us on the bike, I think we even managed four with Lindsey once. Only once because we crashed and decided not to do that again, and I think we had damaged Karen’s bike. (Karen, if you are reading this, I’m sorry. I don’t think I ever said sorry for your bike).  I always wanted to be like you though, you were so confident and always seemed to have your shit together. More grown up than you should have been for Junior School! Carmen I know you were there but I can’t remember getting up to anything naughty with you (until High School) but then again you always were the cautious one.

This was the small farming town that didn’t even has a set of robots (traffic lights) when we moved there and I think only has about three sets now. I remember how we were all so excited the day the first set were installed (I know, small things).  My sister and I used to waitress on weekends for pocket-money, but there was only one place to do this, the one hotel in the town centre. Having been back over the years I am happy to say this is no longer the case, there is actually a choice of places to eat at and to sleep if you choose to stay over in this quaint town, famous mainly for its waterfall and as I recently learned, where Mandela was arrested.

High School was a challenging time for me. Natalie joined our ‘gang’ and became a very good friend, we played netball together, took art together and did dance group together with Carmen. We all seemed to be finding our way, sometimes going in different directions but always coming back together. Being a small town there was only the same circle of boys so some may say “incestuous” but I say limited choice. As with anything boys came and went but mostly came between us and unfortunately we let this happen on probably more than one occasion. Justin was my first love, Paul was my kryptonite and Regan was my one constant and I can honestly say that I loved him with all my heart, which I know I didn’t show him, and he will always be special to me for that. High School consisted of a lot of getting drunk and I remember playing drinking games at Julie’s house before prize giving and all of us turning up at school drunk, with burnt cork marks still on our foreheads, having put on the wrong tops or skirts and having to walk up (not straight I might add) and get a prize from Mr Langley! Not my finest moment but it was funny and I laugh about it now! Or playing yet another drinking game at Dee-Ann’s house the day before our Art/Accountancy exam! I still don’t know how I managed to get a B on that paper. From being kicked out of Science class with Dee-Ann (Dee, can you remember why?) and making up and writing rude songs about Santa in our Biology notes in class, which her father (remember he’s the Head Teacher from Junior School) used years later and came across! I really do miss those days!

Everyone knew you, knew your parents, everyone knew everything that went on in that town, sometimes your business before you did and this was what more than anything I was so desperate to get away from.  But then again these were the days when all you had to worry about were what boy you liked, what party you were going to on the weekend and yes wait for it, what you were going to wear! But thankfully for me, growing up in a small farming town that mostly consisted of jeans which my tom boy side was quite grateful for, as it was for the lack of heels and makeup, two things I still very seldom wear a lot of.  We thought homework was unfair and exams were stressful, oh to be that young and naive again. I thought my life had limitations, I felt like it had restrictions. These were the days I couldn’t wait to get away from.

Our parents always told us that our school years are the best of our lives, and while still that age we roll our eyes and think to ourselves “what do they know?” and we can’t wait to be grown up and making our own decisions. Why, being grown up isn’t all that much fun and the decisions you have to make are sometimes hard. Why was I in such a rush to leave my childhood behind and become a responsible adult. It is only now that I look back and realise that I had a fantastic childhood. We had the freedom to go to our friends houses, play in the river or in the forest and as long as we were home when our parents got home from work no one knew where we were or what we were up to. I know times have changed and growing up in Howick now is not the same but I do wish I could give my children the childhood I had. A childhood with no mobile phones, no social media, no bullying, no kids carrying knives and just good old-fashioned fun. Kids could just be kids.

It was the days of running around bare foot, going to each others houses after school to swim or just play, running around in the forest at the bottom of my garden or the massive open field behind it playing in the huge hay bales when the farmer stacked them all together. Going camping at Midmar dam and sinking a pedal boat because once again (flash back from junior school) there were too many of us on it! I suppose what I probably miss the most about these days is the freedom. We laughed, we played and we were home  safe for dinner without having anything else in the world to worry about.

I made best friends in my small town, I lost best friends in my small town but I made some of the best memories I will ever have. And I’m lucky because I have those memories to think back on and I appreciate it now, even if I didn’t then. I wish I had been better at keeping in touch with all those great friends I made along the way but over the years we have all moved in different directions, but somehow I feel we will always have that connection, thanks to all those beautiful memories. I’ve cried thinking back, but I mostly smile now because those were some of the best days of my life and I am truly grateful for having grown up in my small town and for the fricking greatest childhood ever!