Something I hear people say all the time is “LIFE IS SO HARD” and yes, believe me, I used to be one of them, I have said this quite a few times in my life. And all those people are not wrong, to be perfectly honest, yes life can absolutely be a challenge.
“There are two primary choices in life; to accept conditions as they exist or to accept responsibility for changing them” – Denis Waitley
Some days we are at the top of our game and feel like we can conquer the world, and other days it might feel like we’re drowning and it takes everything we have to keep afloat. We all have our own difficulties we’re dealing with.
And yes, life can be hard but always remember that although there are some circumstances we cannot change, we always have power over how we deal with these and the choices we make. We always have a choice; how to react to our environment and to learn from life’s difficult lessons. These choices belong to no one else but us. This is one of the very few things in life that we have complete control over – the power of choice.
How many times have you heard someone blame the situation they are in or someone else for what’s happened to them? How many times have you done this yourself? I know I have. We all find ourselves in situations with people or circumstances that throw a spanner in our best-laid plans, but ultimately, these people or circumstances are not responsible for our outcomes. We alone hold that card. One of the most important decisions you can make in your life is being self-responsible.
When we deflect blame, two things happen: we don’t realize that we are part of the problem and we are not solution-focused because it’s not our problem after all!
It’s only when we take responsibility and stop blaming others that we start looking within, we start taking greater control and ownership over the outcome of our lives which ultimately starts creating positive change within ourselves and our interaction with others. When you accept the fact that you are the only one responsible for your actions and outcomes, you become more aware and, further, accept that you and you alone have the power to choose, things will start to change in you and as a natural by-product, things will start to change for you.
Making Choices – Some Quick Tips:
1. Mindfulness can help you make smarter choices. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment. Often when people hear the word mindfulness, they relate it to things like yoga and/or meditation and although mindfulness is at the core of these things, you do not have to meditate or practice yoga to be mindful or present. The art of being present is simply bringing all of your awareness and attention to the moment you are in. You can do this simply by noticing your surroundings, experiencing your feelings, and focusing on the task at hand. When we are mindful, we are more in tune with our thoughts, and emotions, and tend to make better decisions.
2. Identify a decision-making process that works for you. This is something that only you can create, as the decision-making process is unique to everyone. Here are some ideas to get you thinking about what might work for you:
- Define the problem, challenge, or opportunity
- Think of the possible implications in each situation
- Discuss and brainstorm with your friends, family, and/or colleagues
- Identify and negate any self-limiting thoughts or beliefs that may impact your decision
- Evaluate the pros and cons associated with each option
- Make the choice that aligns most with your passion, values, and goals without regard to fears or inhibitions
- Just do it. Don’t waiver. Implement the chosen option
- Be persistent
- Reflect on the decision and adjust the course of action as needed
3. Decisions are largely emotional, this is a scientific fact. Decisions are not logical which is why it is important to understand the impact of your emotions concerning the choices you have made, so when faced with a similar choice you can remove or mitigate the emotion from the decision-making process. Some ideas to consider when faced with a choice:
- Determine what you are feeling (angry, sad, guilty, etc) and acknowledge the emotion
- Identify what triggered the emotion (the situation, a person, limiting belief, etc)
- Rationalize your reaction to the emotion (are you overreacting, or under-reacting, how would a similar person react in similar circumstances)
- Give yourself some time to constructively express the emotion ( journal, reflect, think, meditate – whatever strategy works for you)
- Once you have successfully acknowledged and processed the emotion(s) you can then make a choice with a clear uninhibited logical mind
The Power of Choice – an amazing power – and once we choose to accept that this power is ours alone, we can expand our minds, and our beliefs, and exhibit the behaviors we need to live an extraordinary life! Will you still have bad days every so often, of course you will, but armed with this power, you have the choice to learn and grow from them rather than dwell and regress – and of course, you can always choose to make tomorrow a better day!
Always remember that anything is possible! You can live an extraordinary life!
Bye for now, Ange
Angela Harris 