The here and now…

Ok, I’ve explained my journey so far so thought I would tell you a little bit more about where I am now, how I got here and where this crazy ride is going to take me.

For those of you who knew me growing up, taking chances and getting it wrong won’t surprise you about me. Those of you who know me now might still not be surprised but you might also be wondering what the hell I’m doing and why.

Well let me explain. And before it all sounds doom and gloom, I am happy, well for the most part, living in my four bedroom house with my gorgeous husband and 2.4 children but sadly missing the white picket fence! Only joking, about the 2.4 kids that is, I have one from a previous marriage (but he’s 22 so not really a child anymore), my husband has two from his previous marriage and we now have the twins, so we are a large, busy family!!

I’m proud to say I have worked hard all my life for what I have now and all that I have accomplished and that was probably down to my parents and the work ethic instilled in us; because after all we were told life is hard, getting what you want  doesn’t come easily and when bad things happen then “Ah, sods law, it always happens to me” explains it away and it is just accepted.

Not anymore! I don’t think so! Not for me anyway!

Last year as I’ve already mentioned before was one of the most stressful of my life and I honestly got to a point where I didn’t know how I was going to carry on or whether or not I wanted to. I had been back at work a year following maternity leave for the boys and I was finding it hard, we moved house and I was planning our wedding. Now I can honestly say that my wedding was a lovely dayand except for a few hiccups went according to plan. I married my best friend, the man I’d been searching for all my life and I couldn’t be luckier. It was everything else going on around all of this that I just felt I had lost me. I was a wife, a mother, a police officer…but without all of this I didn’t know who I was. I ‘m not going to go into the details about this today as that is a whole story on its own which is worth sharing and I will, I promise.

I’m glad to say I have managed to figure that all out with the help of a very supportive family, loving husband and some deep soul searching. I’ve been listening to some books, yes listening as the only spare time I get is in the car so I thought I would put it to good use, and by listening to these books I have started changing my mind set, my self talk, how I want my life to be and going out there and getting it. I had to reassure my mom that they are not self help books as she looked at me strange when I told her what I was listening to, but to some degree I suppose they are because from listening to them I have managed to help myself. I’ve realised how negative I had become, how angry I was even though I didn’t know why and the most important thing of all was to stop taking everything personally.  This is a slow journey, one baby step at a time and I am by no means an expert. I still have days where the negativity creeps back in, I lose my happy thoughts (as my husband puts it)  but I am happy to say I am on my journey and so far so good. The books by the way are “The Secret by Rhonda Byrne” and “Lucky Bitch: A guide for Exceptional Woman by Denise Duffield-Thomas” definitely worth a read or listen.

Out of all of this positive attitude and thinking has come the courage to want more for my life with my family. Now don’t get me wrong I love my job and up until a few months ago I wouldn’t have been able to think of anything else I’d rather be doing, I will continue for the moment doing that job but I am now also an entrepreneur! Believe me this is a word I never thought I would associate with myself, but I am. I have joined a global pioneering business that is helping me on my personal development journey and has also helped me see that I do deserve this life and I am going to do everything I can to get it. And by this life I mean the freedom to spend more time with my family, the freedom to do more of the things I love and to just be me.

Some of you may have seen my live on Facebook a few months ago, the most nerve wracking thing I have done in a long time, well actually ever! But I did it and it felt great to push my comfort zone. It was a challenge set by the CEO of the company that inspired my fan page on Facebook and my branding of Angela ‘Alive’, and if you have seen my fan page you’ll have seen that I even go one step further and call myself a Business Professional. It felt like a bit of a lie when I first set it up and posted it, but I’m happy to say that I’m feeling like one more and more every day. I feel more alive than I have in years.

I also have a new business venture on the drawing board at the moment which I am excited about so watch this space. Who knows if it will work but I have the courage now to try and not worry about failure, I’ll use it as a learning curve and chalk it up to experience. Whats the worst that could happen, I will be successful!

Until next time

Angela